What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why are women attracted to ugly guys?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Do women like watching men sucking men?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Since the Brits can't steer their oil tanker, what makes them think they can take on Russia?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What was your best revenge story?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Does turmeric help fight cancer? If so, how?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

TEXT:

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What's the most sordid activity you've ever seen or heard about at a bachelorette party?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do men like low maintenance women?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do I have the impression that almost all questions about advertising the flat Earth theory come from people who don't believe in a flat Earth themselves and are just provoking?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.